@Rollinintheseat: When a waiter sees my disability and asks the person I'm with what I want to eat, I respond "Our telepathy is a bit off. You should ask me."
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@Gooooats: I keep trying to turn my hat around backwards so I can get down to business, but it's a sombrero and I'm making zero progress.
@JakeDuarte43: Auto correct is like when a 3yo kid wants to help wash the car.its a nice gesture but really its just slowing shit down! :)
@LogicLaughs: I'm Not A People Person, Or A Morning Person, Or An Evening Person, Or A Going-Out Person, Or A Staying-In.. I'm Not Even Sure I'm A Person.
@SarcasticAlly12: My 5 yo after I explained the concept of breastfeeding: "can you squeeze Capri Suns outta those things or just milk?"