@mrtruthandsoul: When a Weeping Willow dies does it become Mourning Wood?
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@yonewt: Searching for that special woman to share my interest in candlelit dinners, walks on the beach, and losing my shit over inanimate objects
@slimmy_shady: Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might accidentally clean them?
@BackrowSeats: The toughest part of a job interview is finding the exact right moment to go in for the kiss.
@RorynotRoy: Spent all last night mouthing words to my dog to try and convince him that he'd gone deaf.