@SamGrittner: When a woman asks me how long I can last in bed I tell her it depends on how long someone brings me food and water but probably years.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PhilJamesson: [Storm into Octopus Boss' office] I want a raise or I quit! [Octopus Boss is almost done camouflaging against the fern] NOT THIS TIME
@ilovepie84: I once slowly roasted a Marshmallow over fire until the Michelin Man gave me some free tires.
@RadioShorty: So let me get this right. The guys on big bang theory are super smart scientific nerds, yet their elevator is broken?!