@iGreenBabe: When a woman asks you to guess her age, it's like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb.
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@sarah1mc: I hate when I'm telling my best friend a story and she gets all judgmental and walks off to get a drink from her water bowl.
@psybermonkey: Me: what was with King Solomon having 300 concubines? Bible scholar: it's a mistranslation [Flashback] King Solomon: more porcupines
@lloydrang: People who say they are "comfortable in their own skin," scare me because I wonder how they know what it's like to wear someone else's skin