@carlawh: When a woman suddenly shuts up, a man can hear the theme from Psycho discreetly playing in the background.
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@causticbob: The kidnapper rang and said "£10,000 and you get your wife back" "Negotiate with him!" advised the policeman "£20,000 and she's all yours"
@jake_likes_naps: Her: are you single? [flashback to 2011 where I tried to kiss a girl but she turned away and I kissed her cheek] Me: haha idk
@Mikecanrant: When I take pictures of cheese I yell "SAY HUMANS!" and me and the cheese laugh and laugh and then I binge eat and cry.