@Smooheed: When anyone says they've embarrassed themselves enough for one day, I smile, nod and think 'that kind of limit sounds nice'
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@Courtniss_: There's a special hole in my backyard for people to hit me in the back of the ankles with a shopping cart.
@JayCee302: The asian girl I'm playing chess against is really hot, you might say she's worth a... *puts on sunglasses* "Second rook"
@AristotlesNZ: Wife: Maybe its time for "the talk" Me: Ok. Son, cops can't bust you for the drugs you've done, just the drugs you have. Her: Not that talk!