@JimGaffigan: When are they going to drug test the audience of "The Price Is Right."? No one should be that happy.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@hmcpherson17: Sitting outside the dentist office eating Oreos, b/c I think everyone should earn their pay.
@JimmerThatisAll: It's raining men because the aliens are returning the abductees in the most compelling way possible.
@RBColl: [spelling bee] Teacher: Your word is indictment. Me: Can you use that in a sentence? Teacher: Yes, I can use indictment in a sentence.