@Amburglar_: When asked by the creepy guy at the bar "Why aren't you smiling?" my go-to answer is always "My yeast infection really is bubbling up."
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@CourtneyBale: [dinner party] *removing myself from table* Excuse me, I have to take this. *picks up host's dog* *leaves*
@Brampersandon_: A new study finds that chicken isn't as healthy for you as once thought. "Just don't ask to see our data" clucked one feathered researcher.
@sistersurf: I just read someone's TL who starred me, forgot who I was reading, starred & RT'd a gazillion RT's on their TL, ended up in Mexico married.