@captaincoximus: When asked my theory on Amelia Earhart's disappearance I said "maybe she went black" and now I don't have to help with homework
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@Midlifecrisis18: Sex in your 40's: (Position change) * CRRRACK * Her: Was that me or you? Me: Just go with it, we'll assess injuries later.
@ItsAndyRyan: First date Her: So what do you do? Him: I'm currently trying to eliminate all cancers Her: Wow, impressive Him: Then I'll move on to Virgos
@SirEviscerate: CABLE COMPANY: Someone will be there between 6:30 am and 9:45 pm. ME: That's pretty vague. CC: Oh, sorry. It'll be a cable TV installer.