@gman_kam: When black guys say "ya feel me?", I literally feel them so they know exactly what level of white I'm operating at.
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@markydoodoo: [at dog park] ME: it's ok, she's friendly. THEM: is, is that a crab? ME: yep. She's a purebred. Her name is Clawdrey Hepburn. She's 2.
@RidiculousSheri: "Shelley's coming over." "Shelley from work or Shelley who was raised by gorillas?" *gets hit in the face with poop*
@MakesYouGiggle: I don't draw my eyebrows on because I can't commit to one facial expression. What if I see a puppy? What if my house burns down?
@Go2Slp: How to sports: - Take a ball - Put it someplace someone else doesn't want you to put it - Congratulations you've now sportsed