@gman_kam: When black guys say "ya feel me?", I literally feel them so they know exactly what level of white I'm operating at.
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@zacharyflynn: One time a girl told me to take off her shirt and I was like wow ok it doesn't really fit me anyway.
@smelbz: The worst part of going on a date with a guy I don't like is how my grandma always dies before our food gets there.
@dulcetry: Rapture's tomorrow. Christians will be flying up into the air to meet Jesus. Two words: DUCK HUNT