@danozzi: When brands use cool words like "bae" on social media, I drive straight to their nearest location with all my money, ready to buy products.
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@ItsAndyRyan: 3yo: I don't want a walk Me: Come on, it'll be fun braving the elements [An hour later] 3yo: *Very disappointed* Where are the elephants?
@TheThomason: Fun way to make someone question everything: comment "you are so brave" on all their selfies.
@sarcasm_inc: "2015 AND PETSMART STILL DOESN'T HAVE FITTING ROOMS," I say somewhat loudly as Fluffy has to try on sweaters right there in the aisle.