@theshamingofjay: When Bruce Banner gets constipated do you think he turns into the Hulk? - just one of the thoughts I have during important business meetings
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@_troyjohnson: Son, my best advice is to find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and marry her. She knows how to make bad decisions and stick with them.
@rmfnord: The worst part about crapping my pants at work was having to set the ACCIDENT FREE sign back to zero days in front of everybody.
@Starchily90: Any time someone says "have you seen that YouTube video?" I always say yes......... Cause otherwise they make you watch it on their phone