@MarcyLane: When buying baked goods I always ask myself, "are you prepared to eat this in the parking lot?"
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@RichardDawkins: Don't ask God to cure cancer & world poverty. He's too busy finding you a parking space & fixing the weather for your barbecue.
@withanewname: "Doc, it's embarrassing, but I don't feel sexy." "Try wearing the wife's panties." "Really?" "Yeah, the red ones with the lace are nice"
@JonnyStallone: If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say "in Jesus name amen"