@omgthatspunny: When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
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@StoferComic: My neighbor just planed an orange tree. I told him, "That's a strange color for a tree."
@Gooooats: Meghan Markle is going to be bummed when she finds out that her royal duties include getting up at 3:00 every morning to wind up Big Ben.
@SuperJuanderer: Me: Weaknesses? Oh, I'd say not relating well to other sentient beings. -I meant about the janitor job. Me: Oh ya, I don't know how to sweep