@KngHnryVIII: When children, who are hoping for your death so one of them can claim your throne, bring you brekkie in bed, don't eat it. #FathersDay
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@XplodingUnicorn: The pig jumped into bed with my 6-year-old all by herself. It was super cute. Then the pig threw up all over her. Considerably less cute.
@KevinFarzad: Yeah, cigarettes make you cool but they also take years off your life. Those are just two benefits.
@iwearaonesie: Pooh: There's a rumbly in my tumbly Piglet: What? Pooh: There's. A. Rumbly. In. My. Tumbly Piglet: Pooh: I'm hungry Piglet: Say that then