@DamienFahey: When Chipotle says, "Guacamole is $1.50 extra, is that ok?" I pause, then say, "Hang on, let me call my financial advisor."
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@Cheeseboy22: We reach out to meet each other half way, filling the vast void between us. We yearn to become as one." - A poem by my eyebrows
@ChrisScarlette: "just great, I've lost my house my wife is leaving and my kids hate me how can this day get any worse" -A dinosaur, 66 million years ago
@notacroc: WIFE: don't be weird at the party tonight ME: am i ever weird? [dinner party] CHERYL: how's the soup taste? ME: like the blood of my enemies