@ceejoyner: When clowns first attacked these shores nobody took it seriously. It's just one boat, how many could there be, they said.
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@hythemafia: Man goes to a Doctor. "Every time I attempt to pass water it hurts" "Does it burn?" "I don't know, I've never tried to set fire to it"
@UncleDuke1969: [loud bar] Her: I have to urinate Me: What? H: Urinate M: What? H: URINATE! M: Well, YOU'RE a 10! H: Huh? No! You're like a 5. I gotta pee.
@Ristolable: The British are coming! Get ready! Oh wait they're coming by boat. We have like three months