@mrtimlong: When comedians die, why does everyone tell them to "make God laugh"? You wouldn't order a dead carpenter to "make God some bookshelves."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KKAlThani: "Good evening, I will be your waiter for tonight. What would you like to Instagram?" - how waiters should greet people
@GloriaFallon123: Nothing like an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" to make you feel like a Harvard double major.
@maisonshouting: HER: I wish I lived in the 20s ME: no u dont HIM: right bc they had no womens rights M[was going to say bc they didnt have Netflix]: exactly