@mrtimlong: When comedians die, why does everyone tell them to "make God laugh"? You wouldn't order a dead carpenter to "make God some bookshelves."
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@Dutch_50: I was offering free mammograms in the company parking lot long before my employer was doing it.
@Vodkantots: Get your therapist to start taking you seriously by pulling a donut out of your purse.
@AnissaClingman: My brother & I've competed for title of family black sheep for yrs. He checked in at a strip-club...on FB. Well played brother, well played