@mrtimlong: When comedians die, why does everyone tell them to "make God laugh"? You wouldn't order a dead carpenter to "make God some bookshelves."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@iamspacegirl: Dad Dragon: If we weren't supposed to eat them they wouldn't come w plates and toothpicks now finish ur damn knight Teen Dragon: I hate you
@TuffyNyC: My ear is bleeding because I tried to shave it. Now I have to create some elaborate lie to tell ppl how I cut my ear.
@karencreets: Blah blah blah employee handbook, just get to the point where you say if you're gonna drug test me or not
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Movie tickets for 4: $56 Popcorn: $16 Hot dogs: $20 Sodas: $14 Candy: $15 Parking: $5 Seeing the smiles on your family's faces: $126