@WhatevaConc: When complaining of a stomach ache, you don't really need to point to it or pat it gently. People pretty much know where the stomach is.
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@TheDailySchmuck: They say all of this started because Eve ate an apple. Clearly, the book was altered. Everyone knows it had to be chocolate.
@Sickayduh: "Hey Fred" Yeah Barney? "The Bee Gees have no hot chicks in the band" Yeah but ABBA do!
@faulkingway: (Starbucks drive thru) Me: I'd like to pay-it-forward for the car behind me. Barista: That will be $30 Me: How much for the car behind him?