@tyranosex: *shakes brain like an Etch-A-Sketch*

@SSDated: This guy in the elevator asked for my number so I wrote it on his arm. Apparently he meant which floor, so that was awkward.

@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 1924. Franz Kafka died after a surrealistically charged life which should have its own adjective. Kafkastic? Kafkable?

@ArfMeasures: DOCTOR: Your leg is broken ME: So what happens now? D: We put in a cast & it'll recover naturally HORSE: [sticks head round curtain] WHAT?!!

@TheHyyyype: [first date] HER: I'm really into guys with ambitions ME: *trying to impress her* that's perfect, I have two frogs