@BestestNerdDad: When dating, I only have 3 dates to get a woman hooked on me because thats how many nice shirts i have.
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@simoncholland: One fun thing about kids crying is trying to determine if they broke a crayon or got their arm stuck in a piece of farming equipment.
@thatdutchperson: *strips naked* "Magic mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" Cops: he knows we can see him from this side, right?
@krustythe_klown: A bum gets on a bus and walks past a nun. The nun says "youre going to hell". The bum yells "Damn, Im on the wrong bus" ! :D
@PeterKlesken: Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.