@snatch_stache: When dealing with the police it's important to always remain calm and be white.
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@internetluke: In grade 5 during biology my teacher asked me "what is in cells?" I answered my Uncle Eric and Dad and she made me go home.
@Eagle_Vision: Please enjoy my "Here's Your Sign" tweet collection, designed to ward off Twitter trolls.
@lisaxy424: It's actually a good thing money doesn't grow on trees because I've killed every plant I've ever owned.