@kevinseccia: When did they decide that every razor had to look like a piece that fell off a Transformer?
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@TheDjinnTrials: Twitter is an invention created by aliens so we don't notice the period of time missing when they take us for experimentation.
@caliluvgirl77: Just made eye contact with my hot neighbor through the window Wish I didn't have 6 marshmallows in my mouth.
@jonnysun: FRIEND: and this is my pug PUG: oink ME: (thinkig to self) did that pug just say "oink"