@TheCamelToe_: I don't care about all the nasty stuff people put on here about Nicki Minaj. I'll still suck her c**k anytime.

@heathesauruss: Am I supposed to know my own blood type? I don't even know what types of blood there are

@LoveNLunchmeat: "Sorry, but none of my clothes fit today." My date nods, and politely avoids looking at my towel and safety pins.

@EndhooS: "What would be your main strength?" Well, I can communicate with animals... "Wow, impressive. Any weaknesses?" They can't understand me.

@Trick_or_tweet: BREAKING: Clint Eastwood visits the Vatican to talk to the empty chair.