@MomofTeen: When emails tell me to "Act Now!," I immediately start reciting lines from Shakespeare.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ruinedpicnic: me: [spends $20 on a parody MAGA hat with a subtle change] anyone more than five feet away: oh look that person is a trump supporter
@Cheeseboy22: One of the World's Strongest Man events should be "Pulling apart two shopping carts that are stuck together."
@iwearaonesie: *smoke detector chirps* me*takes battery out* *chirp* me*cuts wires* *chirp* me*smashes it with a hammer* *chirp* wife:We have more than one
@BeerOholic: Warning to ppl who drink & drive, yday while driving, frnd took his arm out to indicate right turn & someone took his beer. Rascals! #txt