@MomofTeen: When emails tell me to "Act Now!," I immediately start reciting lines from Shakespeare.
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@underchilde: As a father, I would refuse to give my daughter away at her wedding on the grounds that I would have to be there.
@Sickayduh: HER: You promised me you were over your Bruce Willis obsession. ME: Sorry. Old habits die hard with a vengeance.
@kcmoore51: Me: How was the party last night? 17: It was fun. The cops came. Me: What??? 17: Nah, it's cool. We got away. Me: That's my girl.