@EBenita0517: When ever a girl wears a shirt saying 'I Woke Up Like This' I resist the urge to say I'm sorry about that.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: If a tiger goes to bite you, confuse him by french kissing him. You'll probably still die, but at least you got to make out w/ a tiger.
@ShakesREMIX: My surname: 'Ever.' My given forename: 'Superior'. Similar to a torn talofibular ligament, I am not one to be trifled with.
@TheAlexP: Married men aren't allowed to go the grocery store alone because we're the kid in the shopping cart, but with money
@lilgapeach32: Who decided "have a happy period" was an okay thing to put on a tampon box? "Manslaughter is illegal" would've been more relevant.