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@StashTheTash: When fighting with a clown, always go for the juggler.
@DanDoofus: Hangovers only happen to people who stop drinking.
@marcusparkersol: Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels?
@TattedChanel: 'Find a guy who ruins your lipstick, not your mascara ' lol mate ruin any part of my makeup nd ur gettin smacked down
@texasstalkermom: How many beer trucks can you "accidentally" run into before your insurance company becomes suspicious?
@NicCageMatch: Contents of my wallet just spilled all over the cashier's counter, so embarrassing, spiders everywhere.