@SarcasticAlly12: When friends or family ask me if I'm going to have another baby, I just gesture at the chaos of my life and yell, "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?"
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@JimmerThatisAll: People who say "in and of itself" are responsible for most of the trouble in the world.
@OurMarketingGuy: Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
@johnbiehl: Reasons to keep spiders around 1. Eat flying insects 2. Occasional source of protein during sleep 3. We make rad webs 4. They do i mean they
@canadasandra: in hell your cat can talk and he openly judges you for everything he saw you doing when you were home alone