@JhonRules: When girls ask if I'm good in bed, I tell them "Of course, how hard is it to close your eyes and literally do nothing for 8 hours".
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@slimmy_shady: Retweet if you're naughty! Star if you love Jesus! Reply if you'd like to meet him!
@InternetHippo: SCIENTISTS: We've discovered a massive black hole with no obvious qualities ME: Ok wow I'm right here
@Book_Krazy: [interview] HIM: What are your strengths? ME: Well, I can see dead people. HIM: Wow, interesting. Any hobbies? ME: Grave digging
@BeardSpice: "Two birds with one stone, how about all the birds" God thinks, hurling an asteroid toward Earth