@robfee: When God closes a door, he opens a window. Our heating bill is outrageous & six raccoons got in last night. Please God, this has to stop.
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@zachreinert03: Slasher films are so unrealistic. Anyone could out run a guy walking with a chainsaw. That's why I train running with a chainsaw.
@Stella1070: I was so excited. Thought I found an M&M at the bottom of my purse. It was only an earbud. I ate it anyway.
@markydoodoo: GF: that spoon is still dirty ME: but I just got it out of the dishwasher GF: I can see the mayo on it ME: yeah but it's clean mayo now