@robfee: When God closes a door, he opens a window. Our heating bill is outrageous & six raccoons got in last night. Please God, this has to stop.
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@shutupmikeginn: [my first cutaway on The Bachelorette] I can eat more roses than any of these guys
@JohnLyonTweets: Her: Hi hun. Atilla: [under breath] I told you not to call me that in front of the men. It might stick.
@Travon: Sunday is Easter, Hitler's birthday, the Columbine anniversary, and weed Christmas. Your move, greeting card section.