@WGladstone: When God closes a door, he opens a window. So God's pretty clearly getting high in his dorm room.
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@weinerdog4life: There is a button on my microwave that says "super clown" and I do not ever push that button
@SirEviscerate: ME (a ghost): You know how Bill Nye used to say "don't try this at home"? Well, I did, and he kicked in the door and shot me in the face.
@FriedGoat: I was raised by wolves I was then lowered by bears They really should only have one species of animal operating these cranes
@slimmy_shady: If anyone wants a tiger let me know. I bought one but he's being a d-bag and won't wear the matching sunglasses I bought us.