@Sassafrantz: When God closes a door, it usually has my fingers in it.
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@audipenny: *carries 11 bags of groceries and like a whole mattress on one arm and my phone in my free hand*
@LackOfShame: While sitting on the beach, 16 told me he is going to go under the pier with his girlfriend and catch crabs. They grow up so fast.
@hellominamoo: I'm going to take all of your tweets that make absolutely zero sense and combine them to make a Red Hot Chili Peppers song
@llvvzz: Google+ is starting to sound like a half-way house for people that aren't phony enough for Facebook but aren't edgy enough for Twitter.