@thebeavs: When God was handing out obstacles I thought he said popsicles and said I'll take one of each variety.
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@eddiesteadyno: A fondue party... But instead of bread, it's more cheese. And instead of people, it's even more cheese.
@heatherlou_: I was looking at my phone and tripped over the dog and we're both laying in the floor looking at my phone.
@LindaInDisguise: Me: I'm completely lost. What's going on in this movie? Him: Lin, I just hit play 90 seconds ago. Me: Wow! New record.
@SgtButtCheeks: I forget what I used to do with my arms before I got my iPhone. Did I hang them down by my side? Straight above my head? I really forget.