@thebeavs: When God was handing out obstacles I thought he said popsicles and said I'll take one of each variety.
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@mstluvstrinkets: Anything I accomplish before I finish my first cup of coffee has been fueled by rage.
@dubiousrhetoric: WORKOUT GUY: Climbing stairs after leg day is the worst bro! ME: My face hurts because I napped too hard on my face.
@david8hughes: Me: theres a man outside fighting with water Wife: the neighbour? Me: yes Wife: is he in the pool? Me: yes Wife: again, its called swimming