@Juicedballs: When Granpa revealed an exit wound scar from WWII it gave me strength to show him the owie owie bruise I suffered closing a faulty pizza box
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@UNTRESOR: I never give money to those Salvation Army people because I know they're just gonna spend it on more bells.
@i_wantMyBiitch: Never ask Google for relation advice. I've gone from small disagreement to getting two mails from divorce lawyers in three clicks.