@JohnHilsen: When grocery shopping, I only buy foods that can also be used as a weapon. Cantaloupe is a good example of this.
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@ShutUpThatsWho: [invention of blue cheese] "this cheese has gone off" sell it "but it's gone mouldy" I SAID SELL IT! "fine" & double the price "are u ok?"
@stephenjmolloy: Boss: "Do you know why I've called you into my office?" Into My Office: "Because that's my name?" Boss: "Yes, that's right."