@JohnHilsen: When grocery shopping, I only buy foods that can also be used as a weapon. Cantaloupe is a good example of this.
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@BlindVigil: "To label you "divine" would be to capture but a fraction of your resplendence. ... and could you pleeeeease grab an Oreo while you're up?"
@isabelzawtun: "weighing in at 129 lbs, here to throw down in a gown, to slay with a bouquet-" (Bride walks down the aisle, upset I mentioned her weight)