@torrami: When hubs is sleeping I put my Care Bear blanket on him and take the most adorable blackmail photos ever.
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@slimmy_shady: Wife smelled eggs and thought I was bringing her breakfast in bed. How do I tell her it was just me with gas?!
@Shock_Monster: I don't gossip because: 1. It's not my business. 2. I'm no better than anyone else. 3. And no one tells me any good juicy stuff :(