@torrami: When hubs is sleeping I put my Care Bear blanket on him and take the most adorable blackmail photos ever.
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@Coolisiana: Obama: "I have no more campaigns to run...because I won both of them" Biden like 2 years later: LOL OH I GET IT. HES BEEN PRESIDENT FOR TW
@Rollinintheseat: "It started out with a Kiss, how did it end up like this?"- Me, after eating an entire bag of Hershey's chocolate.
@glo_stevens: I just ate my yogurt with a fork, because I've learned that if it looks like you have your shit together, people ask you to do stuff.
@jjhartinger: I gave all the neighborhood kids at the summer block party a whistle and was immediately asked to leave. That was easy.