@torrami: When hubs is sleeping I put my Care Bear blanket on him and take the most adorable blackmail photos ever.
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@MissNaughty1801: Him:I'm not going to use this taxi company again. They nearly killed me this morning Me:don't be so hasty darling...give them another chance
@jakob_huber: Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they looked.
@Fred_Delicious: If I had a time machine I'd alter the Big Bang Theory pilot episode so all the characters exploded in the very first scene
@weinerdog4life: If you say "NO YOURE UNDER ARREST" the cop legally has to get in the back of your car.