@howe007: When Hugh Hefner dies no one will say he's in a better place now.
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@BitchyJasmine: Listened to some Beethoven last night. And some Lady Gaga today. Now I'm quite confused. Who's the deaf one again?
@twylaredsun: Sending a second cup of coffee down to check on the first one to see why it's not doing its job
@gerryhallcomedy: me: *turns around in swivel chair* *tents fingers* I guess you never expected to see ME again... Boss: Must we do this every Monday?
@sarcasm_inc: HI I SPIT GUM OUT OF MY CAR ON THE FREEWAY AND IT BLEW BACK IN MY EAR 911: Sir, u need to pull over WHAT 911: Use your other ear, sir WHAT