@howe007: When Hugh Hefner dies no one will say he's in a better place now.
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@petemandik: Scientists report global context shortage. "I guess I'll have flan," some scientist said, totally out of context.
@DirtMcTurd: Life advice: 1.Never be afraid to say what's on your mind 2.Never be afraid to do what's on your mind 3.Don't take life advice on Twitter
@topherjordan: First, there was Planking, then Owling and Milking, now there's Harlem Shaking. If the next trend could be Thinking, that would be great.
@ojedge: [job interview] Interviewer: "Describe yourself in 2 words." Me: "Atinubs. Econsibu." Interviewer: "You're hired. Welcome to CAPTCHA."