@howe007: When Hugh Hefner dies no one will say he's in a better place now.
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@Getnosexual: My parenting life wavers between "Be original and true to yourself" and "Please don't make the school psychologist call me again this week".
@faisaladam_: I just saw a poster that said "have you seen this man?" With a number to call... So I called the number and told them "No."
@therealeatwood: [I am wearing a wedding gown at work] BOSS: Do you have a minute to chat in my office? ME: [lifting veil] I do
@GrumpyComments: Tip for drowning your enemies: Paint pictures of people yawning on the bottom of their swimming pool.