@JPHaddadio: When I am president, it will be legal to grab the waists of slow and distracted pedestrians on cell phones and race them along.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BlindChow: "You lie like a doge!" I tell my wife. "So deceit!" I add. "Very fraud!" I mention. "Much fiction!" I point out. "Wow," she says.
@MatCro: [presentation] GUY WITH A COMBOVER NAMED IAN: So that's our plan for the next year. Any questions? ME: Why did you call your combover Ian?