@JPHaddadio: When I am president, it will be legal to grab the waists of slow and distracted pedestrians on cell phones and race them along.
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@SaraMansford: Date: Do u have any allergies? Me: I'm allergic to raisins. They make me cry D: That's an unusual reaction M: They could've been wine!!
@thejessbess: A rap song where I'm just telling my dog about my day & I keep rhyming with "treats" so he stays interested.
@librarianfonz: "I want to take you home, pull off your jacket, run my hand down your spine and curl up with you on the couch." -- bibliophiles, to books