@KentWGraham: When I asked for my wife’s hand in marriage, I didn’t realize how often I’d just get the finger.
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@OfficeofSteve: I always leave my vehicles gas on empty because I want thiefs to be as pissed off as my wife
@Prero22: A cheetah stalking its prey would be jealous of the way I pounce on the Skip Ad button on YT once the 5 seconds are up.
@ItsAndyRyan: [Library] MAN: Do you have books on fire? LIBRARIAN: Yes, in the Chemistry section MAN: Come on boys! *Swarms of firemen enter with hoses*