@thesulk: When I call 911, I'm gonna do a Sean Connery impersonation to briefly amuse the jurors at my trial.
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@MumsieEsq: Tweets are like your children: you love them all at first, you never know how they’ll age, and most of them you regret creating.
@FullMetalMommy: Chin up divorced people; lots of us smug married parents envy your 50/50 custody agreement.
@vineyille: How’d you come up with the idea? Inventor of pac man: I took a bunch of pills one night and ate a ghost. I thought “now here’s something”