@astutenewf: When I call a family meeting I turn off the house wifi and wait for them all to come running.
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@david8hughes: Me: you're mad at me about what happened earlier aren't you? Arresting officer: little bit
@bornmiserable: Coming soon to Fox and Friends: a crime fighting duo useless at stopping mass shootings. They are THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS, Wednesdays at 9 pm.
@Sean_Burgundy_: Most women love it when you play with their hair in public Their husbands not so much
@pattymo: Idea: maybe the police force for a town of 20,000 shouldn't have access to weapons you ordinarily need cheat codes to get