@WilliamAder: When I call out the wrong name during sex, I just segue into singing Mambo No. 5.
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@howe007: If Russia prepares for war the way it prepares for the Olympics then we have nothing to worry about.
@sarcasticmommy4: I do this really cute thing, where if I walk by a car that has a stick figure family on their back window, I peel a kid off.
@dreamthievin: A small part of me is filled with self-loathing for how much pizza I can eat in one sitting. The rest of me is filled with pizza.