@WilliamAder: When I call out the wrong name during sex, I just segue into singing Mambo No. 5.
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@lecalabara: Her: Which actress would you like to get stuck in an elevator with? Me: One who knows how to fix elevators.
@slackerjorge: In store checkout behind beautiful woman in sleek black dress. She's buying tequila and a quart of motor oil. Sure like to know that story