@WilliamAder: When I call out the wrong name during sex, I just segue into singing Mambo No. 5.
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@1Happytwit: 6yo's can't go to jail so I have no idea why this one's refusing to drive me home from the pub.
@A_SternMan: [interview] Your résumé says you have a "take no prisoners attitude". You know you are applying to be a corrections officer, right?