@redherringbear: When I call you Hun, it's short for Atilla.
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@XplodingUnicorn: My 4-year-old sang in church for the first time. So what if it was the wrong song? There's never a bad time for "We Will Rock You."
@KatrinaGibson13: Sawing a hole in the bottom of a table to steal someone's cake is way harder than it looks on cartoons.
@OutrageousM: "What's a good gift for someone who has everything?" Meth. Next year they'll have nothing it'll be easier.
@boburnham: Life is always one step forward, two steps back...Then slide to the left...Slide to the right. CRISS CROSS!!!