@WheelTod: When I can't afford strobe lighting for my house parties, I just ask everyone to blink in time to the music instead.
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@clyderun: The ex hasn't moved out yet. To make her uncomfortable I left a new box of condoms out on the table. She retaliated with a pregnancy kit.
@UberFacts: A mentally ill man shot himself in the head as a suicide attempt. The bullet cured his disorder and he became a straight-A college student.