@OfficeofSteve: When I die and doctors perform an autopsy, they'll probably find twenty pounds of stickers off of fruit in my intestines
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@ItsMePonyBoy: Hey dude that invented the unicycle... Where were you wanting to go ? then not go, then go, then not go, then get bored and juggle
@envydatropic: Christmas decorating 101 - Puts fake snow on Halloween decorations Your move Martha Stewart
@jdforshort: Sneaks into your house and removes all the labels from your canned goods. Shuffles them well.
@JCWisdomNuggets: Next time a dude says "Pictures or it didn't happen", punch them in the throat, take a pic, and tell a story about a guy you throat punched.