@OfficeofSteve: When I die and doctors perform an autopsy, they'll probably find twenty pounds of stickers off of fruit in my intestines
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@moneebthinks: My Nissan uncomfortably seats 7 if any group of people wants to take an intimate road trip
@radtoria: [intercom] Please stop putting clown shoes on the sacrificial goat. The ritual is in 3 days & the other cults aren't taking us seriously.
@rolldiggity: 1. Loan someone a pocket knife. 2. Take it back by wrapping it in a rag. 3. Explain you need a knife with someone else's prints on it.