@GayAtHomeDad: When I die, before my will is read, I want my entire Google search history revealed and whoever is left in the room gets it all.
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@koalaslament: put ur hair in a man-bun. now put ur beard in a man-bun too. congratulations ur now a hamburger. be free, hamburger man.
@XplodingUnicorn: 6-year-old: Why do I have to share a room? Me: It could be worse. Harry Potter slept in a cupboard under the stairs. 6: Yeah. By himself.