@GayAtHomeDad: When I die, before my will is read, I want my entire Google search history revealed and whoever is left in the room gets it all.
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@daemonic3: [in Batmobile] Superman: Hey Batman: Sup? S: Promise you won't be mad? B: [sighs] I asked if you had to go before we left the Batcave!!
@kwirkyKerri: Sex on the beach means sand everywhere. You just do not want extreme exfoliation in some areas.
@murrman5: *holding your xray up to the light and looking at it* when did you first notice your back hurting? "after the knife went in"
@ericsshadow: In the 1970s it was almost impossible to insult someone electronically. Thank god that nightmare is over.