@copymama: When I die, I hope people react the way my kids do when the iPad freezes.
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@vineyille: My hateful coworkers discovered that I eat my lunch in the air ducts and now they've taken to smacking the air ducts with a broom.
@FeelingMervis: Give a man a fish, he can eat for a day. Give a man another fish, "Hey man where's that fish I gave you Monday? YOU ATE IT?! IT WAS A PET!!"