@copymama: When I die, I hope people react the way my kids do when the iPad freezes.
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@Eightinchgoat: I think I'm gonna shave my legs so that there's less wind resistance when I run to the fridge for a beer.
@WarrenHolstein: Don't cut yourselves 'cause Justin smokes pot, Beliebers. Cut yourselves 'cause you listen to Justin Bieber. (And aim for a major artery.)
@Schroofles: I hate babies when they are crying. I hate people who love babies & think babies are cute. I hate grown up babies who make more babies.