@hazelmotes1: When I die I want my remains poured out of an airplane over the Grand Canyon. But don't cremate me. Just dump my body on some tourists.
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@BitchyJasmine: My neighbors loved the music so much when I turned it up, that they invited the police to listen. :)
@Carbosly: I don't care about Disney lying about my Prince Charming. I'm more pissed about forest creatures and their unwillingness to clean my house.
@robotrowboat: Please put away that scary photo, Tina. That's my X-ray. I'm not sure what’s worse: the fact you dated a skeleton or that its name was Ray.
@TheHyyyype: [hs reunion] JANE: i'm an engineer TOM: i'm a real estate developer AMY: i'm a lawyer *everyone looks at me* ME: *panics* i'm a hospital