@Blarebare: When I die I want my skeleton turned into a xylophone. Just like the good ol' days.
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@SteveKoehler22: Just changed the GPS voice in my car from male to female. Now if I miss a turn, she says .... "( Sigh )....recalculating"
@RubyBottoms: The ex says he's come into some money and can finally "take care" of me. Wait...he's gonna have me killed isn't he?
@chuuew: [planning heist] Me: We'll need the element of surprise. Neil deGrasse Tyson: [appears] Actually, such an element does not exist. Hi, I'm Ne