@PersianCeltic: When I die I want my tombstone to say free WiFi so people will visit more often. I will also name the network "HELP, I'M STILL ALIVE!"
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@duplicitron: If you smoke while you're pregnant your baby comes out wearing a t-shirt and jeans looking cool as hell.
@internetluke: [on phone with mom] SHE SAID YES!!!! "congrats, son" I asked her if she thought I was weird "Wait what?" She thinks I'm weird. We broke up
@YourAnMoron: It's pretty impressive that Beethoven could play the piano considering he was a St. Bernard.
@djdarrellripley: Her: You know, I hear a lot of guys are celebrating St. Patrick's Day this year with a quiet dinner at home. Me: Yea, the nursing home...