@meganamram: When I die I want to be cremated and blown in the faces of my enemies
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@Sickayduh: "Happy birthday! " - Oh wow! A necklace! I love- wait... Did you get me a fake diamond? "Well, it's not really your 29th birthday either"
@MarlonBrandNO: [Baby trying to say first words] Baby: b..bu Me: cmon son Baby: bu..bu..s Wife: Yes sweetheart Baby: Bush did 9/11 Me[tearing up]: He knows
@NintenDom: It's never going to work out between Mario and the Princess. Most of the time she's on a whole other level.
@geekysteven: GOD: That's the last of the animals. Now add warning colors to the poison ones ANGEL: Will do GOD: But not all of them, keep some surprises